雅思復議申請全攻略之一：復議作文
雅思復議申請全攻略之一：復議作文
金老師分析：
這個題目結尾問同意不同意，在開頭段回應任務的時候，一定會清楚表明你的同意或不同意的意向，來完成任務回應的初步評分!
例如：盡管人們使用高科技交流手段，應該是不會喪失面對面交流能力的。因此我不同意題目中的說法!
在這樣的任務回應前提下，我們的主體段會論證為什么人們不會因電話和電腦的交流就喪失面對面交流的能力。
比如：①網上的交流和電話的交流很大一部分也是基于語言系統的，是面對面交流的延伸 ②今天的視頻電話和網上的視頻聊天等于是遠程的面對面交流 ③面對面交流是人在長期的進化過程中形成的能力，不會因為不常使用就喪失
當然，根據評分要求，我們一定要寫電話交流和互聯網交流的頻繁使用也會在一定程度上影響到人們的實際交流能力，因為在實際交流的場景中出現的一些情況，有很多是在遠程交流時遇不到。這也說明了為什么有些人長期在網上，見到真人或在真實環境里，就變得手足無措!但這不是全人類的情況，是因人而異的。
以上是正常對本文的任務回應和邏輯論證的一個建議系統。那么有很多考生在寫這個文章的時候走題了，也就是沒有任務回應，不回答文章的問題，邏輯論述不切題!于是，就算詞句尚可，也不能拿到6分就6分以上。
復議作文題目
“More people are using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. Agree or disagree?”
文章點評
In recent years, the proliferation use of electronic devices has brought much convenience to the public. However, the over-reliance of telecommunication may engender a detrimental effect to people’s face-to-face communication skill. In my opinion, the real chat should not be completely replaced by electronic devices.
開頭段對題目理解有些偏頗，沒有討論被完全取代的問題。一種能力的喪失不一定是一種事物和方式被取代!
With the assistance of cell phones and computers, the development of human’s society has accelerated. The biggest benefit we get from modern technology is that we have increasing access to contact with our partners as quickly as possible. By communicating online, not only entrepreneurs can accomplish their business with oversea clients, but also university professors are able to exchange expertise with other scholars. Besides, if we are remote from home, chatting online is also an effective way to keep the family bonds with our relatives. In general, in this information era, electronic devices enlarge our social circle and boost working efficiency of global village.
On the contrary, it is also worthwhile to mention that some people have the addition to relying on online community, especially youngsters. With the attraction of social networking sites and the fulfillment of making friends, they are more likely to perceive the virtual world as reality. There is a phenomenon that during days off people just wait for the messages from their online friends by clicking the mouse rather than make a real chat with soul mates. Consequently, estrangement and alienation among friendships is prone due to the serious lack of face-to-face communication.
文章應該是論證真實交流是否會被互聯網交流影響而喪失，如果不會，為什么不會!但從文章主題段可以看出，本文只說了互聯網交流的好處，以及沉迷于這樣高科技交流的問題，沒有清晰回應任務并給出切題的邏輯分析!另外詞句也有細節偏誤!
In conclusion, I do not think that we should restrict the frequency of using electronic devices so as to enhance the interpersonal skill. However, it is high time to find decent emotion and passion of communication instead of chatting with mate randomly.
金老師點評：
如果我是考官，根據評分標準，本文我最多給三個6一個5，任務回應5分，邏輯、詞、句各6分，這樣還是5.5。
但文章的詞句還算可以，文章自成的邏輯也相對合理!如果有考官給5776，也就是任務回應5分，邏輯、句式7分，用詞6分，本文就能到就6分。不過從詞句偏誤來看句式給7分的可能基本沒有!而由于任務回應不好，邏輯也不可能到7!
不管怎么評，反正一項拿到分數，就拖了后腿。因此很多考生的文章由于偏題和沒有回應任務，就會停留在5-5.5，而沖不上6分!
本文復議，要從詞句用法和行文能力上打動二審考官，給出單詞或句式中任何一樣7分，才能復議到6分。這個不太容易。所以這篇文章復議的成功性我看不大!
本文作者：偏鋒出國(公眾號：偏鋒出國)
本文為原創文章，版權歸作者所有，未經授權不得轉載!